Somewhere, deep within the Nevada desert, below the sun-cracked terra firma, a secret (and imaginary) crew of military scientists has installed a giant champagne bottle into a missile silo. They’re creating one of the most amazingly flamboyant weapons of all time. 

Their plan is to distill the essence of Scandalous Salon owner David Nyblom and his cohorts to create a weapon never before seen. Upon feeding house music into the 180-inch bass speakers within the silo, the massive champagne bottle would shake, and ultimately eject the cork with such force that entire continents of conservative mothers would fall to their knees in disbelief.

Unbeknownst to the military scientists, a man, lurking in the shadows, had plans of his own. This man, Dexter Davis (doesn’t that sound like a spy name?) had infiltrated the secret crevasses of Tinker’s Damn and contacted David Nyblom via secret agent Sivohn. Davis had a plan of his own, and it had nothing to do with mass destruction, but it did include world domination.  The plan was simple: “Cocktails and Chaos.”

You may ask yourself: “Who is this guy David Nyblom.” If you actually asked yourself that, you should either trade in those Z Cavaricci’s and hit the town, or just stay tuned for what will be the most colorful show ever to air from the streets of San Jose.

Last night Camera 12 hosted the pilot of “Cocktails and Chaos,” a show so far from what most people would recognize as reality it will spawn a new genre, “The Surreality Show.”

With a cast of characters that ranges from Nyblom himself, to Sammy Crocco (his assistant), to Bill Funk (Nyblom’s best friend and owner of Tinker’s Damn), it’ll make your head spin clear off your neck. That range includes Rose Hill (a celebrity make-up artist whose first kiss was from Neal Diamond), Bliss Katopothis (Nyblom’s second cousin and first responder), a masterful Real Estate agent, a skillful Botox technician, a dog trainer, a vocally talented party attendee, a Queen of the Ballerinas, and an army of empty cocktail glasses. All would make Oscar Wilde blush with their stories. This is a dangerously interesting lot. 

This show will put San Jose on a map few people dare to look at.