San Jose Music & Nightlife - Silicon Valley Gentleman's Clubs

Cold beer, good booze and food are served at AJ's strip club in San Jose and at their (we guess it would be) sister club in Hayward...oh, yeah there's also a bevy of scantily clad women most of who are that "girl next door" type which just makes this gentleman's club so much hotter than ones where silicone reigns. Plus, AJ's strip bar is so close to downtown San Jose that a cab ride will cost you less than a private dance. Sometimes they sport a cover charge, but usually it's just a two drink minimum and, really, who doesn't have more than two drinks at a gentleman's club? You've got to check out their happy hour (starting at 5:30pm) and late night shows to get a little extra bang for your buck.

The Brass Rail in Sunnyvale has to be the most raucous gentleman's club in Silicon Valley making it the party spot for guys (and girls) that like a little flesh with their booze. The Brass Rail strip club does something that no other club does; they show videos of the current dancer topless while she's barely covered on stage because the girls can't be topless live in California gentleman's clubs while you're downing booze—which we believe to just be a complete and utter travesty. The videos actually make the entire experience a little surreal at the Brass Rail because sometimes you see patrons not knowing which girl to look at, the live or the Memorex. Here's a hint boys: scope the live one, unless you're so steeped in modern tech geekdom that you prefer cyber-babes to real ones. Also, this Silicon Valley gentleman's club has four stages, pool tables and a big screen TV usually tuned to sports, but if you're doing the two latter activities instead of taking in the main attractions; what the heck are you doing at a strip bar?

The discreet location of the Candid Club in Sunnyvale, in a strip mall behind a Carl's Jr., makes formulating excuses about where you've been for the last couple of hours to your significant other incredibly easy, not that we would ever date a girl that wouldn't go with us to a gentleman's club, but if you do, tell 'em that six dollar burger was the bomb. Of course the Candid Club has a full bar because the ladies are not nude, but if you've got any sort of imagination it ain't hard to picture them that way. Also, this Silicon Valley gentleman's club has a pool table and big screen TVs tuned to sports, but with the Candid Club's line-up of scantily clad, beautiful dancers you can't give us one good reason why you'd be shooting stick or checking the score on the game (they replay Sportscenter all night long anyway).

We love the Hip Hugger in Sunnyvale because it's basically a dive bar and strip club in one where the booze is cheap, there's a pool table and, above all else, the dancers are real—meaning they're hot, nice, chatty and just not all caught up in their stripper-osity. Seriously, the Hip Hugger is not your average strip bar, the girls actually hang out with you, sometimes without it costing you extra, and usually come in on their nights off to hang with regular customers and shoot some stick—think about it, you've already seen them half naked so the whole chatting to ladies pressure thing should be negligible. The other cool (or possibly freaky depending on how your tastes run) aspect about Silicon Valley's Hip Hugger strip club is that it is probably the only gentleman's club we've seen that supplants your normal stripper poles with a jungle gym like structure that the girls perform their acrobatics on and personally we give that routine a 10.

There's usually a double-digit cover charge at the Kit Kat Club in Sunnyvale, but it is one of only two options for fully nude gentleman's clubs in Silicon Valley, so your decision should be based upon the factors of: booze or skin. If skin is your choice, then read on. The Kit Kat Club has some of Silicon Valley's hottest dancers and, as we mentioned, they are fully nude. There's one main stage for your viewing pleasure where the ladies perform their gyrating routines under the lights and the Kit Kat strip club also offers couch dances, but be warned, these "private dances" aren't so private as this gentleman's club is rather small so you're likely to be in plain view of everybody else for the dime you just dropped. Perhaps in an effort to counteract the severe lack of booze or the price you pay for full nudity in California, Silicon Valley's Kit Kat Club serves it's patrons a free lunch buffet from 11:30am-3pm during the week, but we're of that particular mindset that you go to strip clubs for the girls and not the cuisine.

Silicon Valley's other option for a fully nude gentleman's club is the Pink Poodle in San Jose that regularly features adult film stars live on stage when they roll through town and their line-up of hard working Poodlettes are as hot as they come. The Poodle is smallish and has that indelible '70s gentleman's club sleazly aura to it, but, heck, that's why we love it—a strip club ain't supposed to be pristine, it has to match your thoughts, right? Also, the Pink Poodle fully nude strip club in San Jose offers private dances for a reasonable price, but we have it on good authority that the shower dance is definitely the way to go. So, the only aspect that we could possibly lament about at San Jose's Pink Poodle would also be our number one complaint about every fully nude gentleman's club in California: fully nude equals no booze. Seriously, if this is the trend that gentleman's clubs are taking nationwide, we're moving to Canada.